She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
