Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize
