I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
He felt like a one man threesome
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Randomize
