marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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