Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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