Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
there is puke in my bra ... again
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Randomize
