remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
Is this like a preordered booty call?
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize