did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
