i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
Randomize