u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
