YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
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