I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Randomize
