I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
