Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
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