Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
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