Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
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