its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
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Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
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Someone came in the potted fern
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
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