I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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