My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Randomize
