Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
Randomize
