You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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