How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
