Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
Randomize
