does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
Randomize
