Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
