Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
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