hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
Randomize
