I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
Success! We fucked roommates!
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
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