she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
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