Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
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