OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
Randomize
