I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Randomize
