Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Randomize
