I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
In America we eat man semen.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
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