guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
