And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
meet me or not, i'm out of control
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
