Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
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