But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize
