I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
Randomize
