She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
