dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
