I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
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