don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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