the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize
