You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
Someone came in the potted fern
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
