there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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