Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
Found your dick twin last night
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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