things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
Woke up backwards on a recliner
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
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