Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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