turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize