four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
Just invented taco cereal.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
