Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
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