I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
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