normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
Randomize
