i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize
