There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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