Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
Randomize
