i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
