WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
They took my balls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
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