so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
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