Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
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