So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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