If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
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