Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
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i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
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THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
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