Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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