I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
Let the clothes fall where they may.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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