We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
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